How to write a fanfiction YYH style
by tiny teeth
Summary: What if the YYH cast could write their own fanfictions? How would they decide who is going to be with who? What the plot is? What type of story will it be?
1. Pairings

DISCLAIMERS- yeah, by now most of everyone reading should know I do not own YYH, but if I did (insert evil hentai laugh here.)

Warnings- some material in the story may be inappropriate for children, dog lover's, cat lover's, people with high morals, people who are squeamish, ticklish, and any other -ish you can apply. And of course the standard warning of lewdness and implied and wantonly acted out yaoi-ism. Also there is a chance that non-cannon couples are matched up. The shock and horror shall rein on this forsaken day.

Ok here is a very quick little thing I thought up while I was cleaning. Please bare with me the fumes were very strong and boy were they right when they said does not mix chemicals.

**PAIRINGS**

"Ok everyone please sit down we really have to hurry cause there are so many fics to write and not that much time to get through with this" I say clapping my hands together. Flipping through my notebook I scan the notes. "Ah, Kurama you are up first." I smile as the red haired boy graciously rose and headed for the stage to accompany me. I couple of catcalls were heard from the back of the auditorium. "Hn, OC's" I mumble wishing I had locked the door earlier.

I clear my throat rather loudly hoping the over zealous fan would get the hint and shut up. Thankfully they did. Swinging my hand out gesturing to the young man to my immediate left. Every one claps. I push play on my old fashion tape recorder, and over the loud system an announcers voice booms.

"This tall and graceful young man goes by the name Shuichi Minamino but is referred to as Kurama by his dearest friends and closets enemies. He is a skilled fighter using his rose whip with the precision of a veteran surgeon. His ability to summon plants is uncanny. " Kurama smiles slightly at the facts.

"He has naturally long red hair and green eyes but has been know to change them to fit the character. He has a small to medium frame height is 5 feet 9 inches weighing 145 pounds." Kurama is somewhat unsure why this is important of pairing up for a fight but he plays along beautifully gesturing a-la spokes model style to his hair and body. Striking a pose he waits for the recording to continue.

"He also has the ability to turn into a 7 foot plus silver haired golden eyed Yoko." Kurama nods.

I turn off the tape and tap the microphone testing it. I place my notes on the podium and begin reading aloud. "Alright, according to these records" I run my finger along the edge taking a mental count. 'When you are in your human form not only are you often paired up with a guy, you are usually a uke. " I watch in delight as Kurama face slowly pales as he realizes that this defiantly was not a method to find a partner to spar against.

"On that note this is a open floor bid." I step from behind the podium pushing the red concealed button that turns on the quite needed force field now surrounding a panic-stricken fox demon."To make it easier we shall convert all sums into gold." "We will open the bid at 10 gold coins"

Botan raises her hand with a giggle.

"15" I stab out.

I see Shizuru hand flag me

"20?"

Botan glances over at the completion and raises her hand

"25?"

I look over at Shizuru who takes a slow drag off her perfectly lit cigarette, "55 gold pieces for the fox boy."

I glace towards Botan who shakes her head knowing Koenma doesn't pay her enough for that bid and putting it on the king's tab might now go over very well.

"55 going once going twice." I could almost feel the excitement spilling from Kurama because he wasn't going to be paired up with a…

"Yo, does uke mean he is the one who gets screwed" Yusuke shouts out interrupting Kurama happy little thoughts of finally being in a non-yaoi pairing.

"Yes Yusuke, would you like to bid?"

"Uh, have I ever been you know…" Yusuke stutters not really sure on how to put the words.

I snort of small chuckle, "According to these stories yes you have and you also have enjoyed it." I watch as Kurama eyes widen as he mentally searches for a way out.

"Oh" a smile develops and beams on the young boys face. "100 gold pieces then"

I motion over to Shizuru and wait her bid.

"That's a bit to steep for me, " she says blowing out a puff of white smoke. "Beside who am I to get in the way of some good old fashion boy on boy action," she says with a devilish smile as Kurama mouths the words 'save me'.

"100 going once, going twice………"

"So" interrupts Yusuke again. "If I get him what exactly can I do to him?" Kurama glares at the raven-haired youth not really liking the way he phrased the last question.

"You may do anything you want with him. He will be yours for the duration of one fiction. The length or content of the fiction is entirely up to you. Nothing is taboo." I say with a smile.

"100 going once going twice gone," just as I am about to slam down my gavel the shrill voice of two fan-girls beckoning me rings through my ears.

"Kurama-kun we will save you" they say with the utmost enthusiasm. I do believe Kurama face pales even more that the thought of being bought by a pair of somewhat rabid fan-girls. I attempt to explain to the dear uninvited guest that only character in the story could bid, but they seemed to be evolved with counting their combined and collected gold pieces. "200 gold pieces we have 200 pieces." They cheer jumping up and down with each high-pitched syllable.

With out warning, two loud explosions tear through the auditorium. Everyone's head turns around to where the two girls once stood. Two scorched marks show smoldering on the destroyed chair cushions. Seconds later the area is rained upon by blood, guts, bones and other unidentifiable human remains.

"Hm, oh no my dears I do believe I have 200 gold coins" A chilled voice says as he walks past the carnage picking up the purse, removing the hand still gripping it. The cool and usually collected Kurama slams against the force field screaming a stream of obscenities. "So the bid is what again?"

I blink and manage to inform him that the bid is currently at 100 gold pieces.

"200 gold piece for the lovely specimen of a human in the cage." The black haired oni coos, violet eyes affixed upon the victim on the stage.

I regain my presence and continue." Well, then. 200 going once…"

"Hiei, do something." Kurama calls from the stage with pleading eyes.

"Hn, 200 is a lot to pay for something I can get anytime I want for free." he states crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back into the chair, completely ignoring the stares of wished castration being thrown his way by the soon to be property of Karusu.

"He is not allowed to bid." Kurama blurts

I hold my gavel in mid air, "Why?"

"Because I killed him." He states hoping that is a good reason.

I turn toward the one holding the coinage and wait for a reply even though Kurama's reason is a farce I still decide to humor him in his weak plight to get out of this situation.

"Death is not a factor here. Anyone can bid. The only stipulation is that you must be a character in the original manga and or anime."

"Yes even I could bid" An eerie voice bubbles from a large glass water filled jar.

"Well rules are rules." I clear my throat and shake my head removing any and all thoughts of elder Toguro being in a fiction with Kurama in his current 'I belong on a mad scientist lab top shelf' condition. I begin again, "200 going once, going twice, sold to the psychotic demon with a deep rooted gothic flare." I say bring down my gavel

"Fine" Kurama growls through gritted teeth and a sneer.

Everyone stands up and quietly exits the building not making any eye contact with the Yoko who was simultaneously plotting each and every one of their plant-aided disembowelment.

I shake off the thought of a flowering bush bursting through my chest and hand Karusu a journal. "With this notebook, whatever you write down will happen. You only have temporary rights to Kurama, no one else." I inform him watching the recently brought merchandise squirms.

"You only bided on me so you could kill me. Why don't you just do it and get it over with." Kurama seethes as Karusu carries him off stage.

Karusu just laughs, " I need not to touch you to kill you, it's simply one of the many many perks." he calmly states running a single claw down the back of Kurama's thigh.

I tap my pile of papers together put it back in my notebook. "Well that one fan fiction paring settled. Hey who knows it could be a very touching love story between to stable minds individuals torn apart by society. Whose devotion to each other stands the test of time enabling the impossible to blossom into reality." Once I finish laughing hysterically at the thought I take out my pen highlight the next name on my list. "Ooo Yukina."

A/N- I really don't plan to continue but I change my mind quite often. So who knows?


	2. Genre

Disclaimer- woot and whistle I don't own YYH.

"Hello again." I sing out as I enter the small meeting room. I prefer these cozy little quarters, over the large hall we gathered in last time. Besides that building was mysterious destroyed by a giant vine. Yusuke is sipping on his soda. Kuwabara is patiently waiting for the meeting to begin, scratch that impatiently waiting. Hiei is trying his best to get into Kurama good graces without actually saying the words, 'I am sorry'. Kurama mind was steadfast on the whole 'ye shall suffer the eternally hell bestowed upon me' attitude.

"Hi" Yusuke and Kuwabara say whole-heartedly. Yusuke belches right after and Kuwabara quickly brushes the torn straw wrapper mosaic of Yukina he was piecing together.

"Hn" the two less then happy to see me demons grunt simultaneously.

The conference room door open and with purple eyes a smiling Karusa gingerly walks in. "Good Morning" he chimes in an eerily happy voice. He walks up behind his legally obtained fox and taps him on the shoulder. Kurama spins around to give the demon one of his coldest stares. Kurusa laughs, pulls back the office chair in which the red head is sitting, yanks Kurama out sits down in the chair and pulls Kurama back down in his lap locking his arms over his hips and waist so he can not escape.

"Oh come on." Kurama whines. He looks up at me, "This can not be justified as alright."

"But it is my dear I own you for the duration of one fic."

"And what does me sitting on your lap have to do with writing your story?"

"Inspiration." He whispers into the paling fox's ear.

I clear my throat trying to think of a safer subject to get on. "Well have you thought of anything to write, yet" I ask

"Nope."

Kurama's head falls onto the table with a quite audible 'thud'.

"Hmmm." I open my always-handy Internet collected notes. Thumbing through the piles of stories searching for the ones starring Kurama and Karusa. I quickly read a few. "Oh, my" I reorganize my notes tapping the stack of paper on the table squaring the edges.

"What?" Krama mumbles forehead still plastered to the large dark imitation wood table.

"Let me just say it would be best if we all thought of a genre for you because if we let things run there natural course sitting on his lap would be a luxury."

Karusa looks up from scribing his name over and over again with his fingernail in Kurama shirt covered back. "Hunn, No no need I am more than sure I can get something worth while on paper. I simply need more time and more inspiration," he says with a smile.

Hiei is in the process of buring a hole in the table from glaring at it so hard for the last few minutes as the dark haired oni ogles and gropes the red head teasingly.

"Umm, Hiei" I say

"What I am no jealous why would I be jealous for him just because Kurama is paying all the attention to him and not me. I am not jealous one bit."

"Ohhh kay" I reply breaking eye contact with the non-to convincing spouting fire demon.

"So how do we exactly choose a genre in the first place?" Yusuke asks out of the blue.

I whip out an out hat toss a few pieces of paper inside of it and say, "We draw for them of course.'

The group looks somewhat dumbfounded of my ingenious methods of selecting. I pass the hat around each member pulls out a piece of paper. Before anyone can open the tightly folded scrap of paper I immediately announce the rules. "You may open the piece of paper each one has a different topic on it. Some are single words some and a set of words." And since only six of us are here including my self this we will pick twice."

I watched as they unfolded their two pieces of paper. Not having any idea who had what I glanced down at mine. Songfic and AU. I giggled aloud at the possibility. Stifling my chortle I proceeded with the rest of the loosely laid rules. "Karusa you can either use the two genres in your hand or elect to pick the one in someone's else, the catch is you can not look at what they have and once you pick it you must use it. You do have the option to only pick one from one person and keep one of yours."

Karusa taps is forefinger on Kurma's thigh deep in thought. "Very well I want one of Hiei's and one from Kuwabara I will let you decide which one you want to give me. It is only fair that you have a helping hand in the foxes affairs" He ends with a conceited smile.

Kuwabara looks back in forth between the two pieces of paper, as he tries to decide which one will be best served to help a friend out of a tight and sticky situation.

Hiei tosses a crumbled up scrap of paper over at Karusa. "Baka" he snorts as he rises and walks over to the still contemplating youth. Hiei snatches up the closest piece of paper "Here." He says handing the genre guilds to Kurusa. "Now go and write some thing."

Karusa opens the pieces of paper; he jumps up and drags Kurama out the door. The paper spins on the table with the gust of wind case by the rapid exiting. Once the dust settles we all look at the selected choices:

PARODY

MYSTERY

Hmm I continued, yeah for me!


End file.
